A COLLEGE FULL OF DISILLUSIONMENT...


Remember walking into a college full of people, and then slowly realizing that you are not what you thought you were. That you’re not best.

That’s what IIEST looked like to me – a group of people better than me. Suddenly I am disillusioned – and more pained than humbled.

There was this deafening show of skills and qualities of everyone around me – including my own show.

The first week, all together with all kinds of false facades and walking with chest upright in the campus, was the most bitter period of hostel life. Away from home, family and deprived of love and food.

Yeah, my roommates were my solace. I spent hours entertaining them, and they amusing me.

And I once said, very jokingly and honestly – “You peeps actually laugh at my style of telling – not the joke. The joke is not funny”

So, I basically went through the pain of disillusionment and didn’t end up being humbled. Maybe that was just my own case, maybe not.

But really, for a few revealing, almost cathartic moments I’ve realised that I’m nothing but a speck in this huge universe – and didn’t really have a lot to boast – not as much as the trees of IIEST could do.

And a closer introspection again conforms – this is not just a liberating feeling – but a harrowing truth. That I, the greatest me, doesn’t know even a percent of what’s just in this planet, let alone seven others and more.

Those little moments of truth never really changed my attitude – I still fed on superiority complex – and I wonder if life would have been really better if I had been on the other side of the power equation – the inferior side.

Sometimes I feel like leaning back, closing my eyes, and sometimes just give my friends a carefree cheeky smile.

IIEST gave me too much of opportunity to humble down. And I obviously didn’t take it. Now sometimes I do want to know how would it feel like – being humbled down, and walking those tree clad streets again—

Shreya Ghosh,

Electronics and Telecommunication Engineering,

2019-2023 Batch,

IIEST Shibpur.



Location: Howrah, West Bengal, India

Comments

  1. Aman Kumar SinghJuly 23, 2020 at 2:26 PM

    You have put it very well Shreya. I can relate to it. Being superior or inferior is one thing but going through respective complex is another. My advice will be to not let these dominate your mind. Take the middle path and enjoy both the ends.

    ReplyDelete
  2. astronomerJuly 23, 2020 at 2:43 PM

    Trial by fire , as one is humbled by this realization of other people being better than you.
    Give it time you'll find your own voice in this chatter .

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aishi PramanikJuly 23, 2020 at 3:03 PM

    You should understand how much potential there is within you to create order out of chaos.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownJuly 23, 2020 at 3:38 PM

    This is very relatable. And beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownAugust 21, 2020 at 10:44 PM

    V beautifully written..

    ReplyDelete

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